My strong, strapping husband is scared of a negative-three-month-old baby. The baby has been kicking for quite awhile. It kicks in a wave your hands in the air, like you just don't care kind of way-- sweeping motions from left to right. It could be elbows or knees. I like to put Jeff's hands on my belly when this happens. He jumps and yelps. He recoils, shaking his hand like it burns.
"But it's so weird," he repeats over and over.
"But it's natural," I say.
"It feels too weird. How can you stand it? There's an alien in your stomach."
And that's why women get pregnant, not men.
*Shortly after finding out we were pregnant, we named the embryo Eggbert, in honor of its humble beginnings. This would give us something to refer to him by. It felt too cold to call it... "It." Afterall, that's how we refer to other people's children. Also, our apologies to our unborn child for causing gender-confusion, if Eggbert turns out to be a girl.
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2 comments:
Just wait until I start to pay you back for all of the tricks Jeff played on my kids - including the "wild" rabbit that appeared in my yard one day.
Dan- Uh oh, can't wait to see what you come up with!
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