From today's NYT

"Nayla, the homemaker in Dammam, a Persian Gulf port city, says Ms. Winfrey helps her cope with a society that does not encourage her to have interests. “The life of a woman here in Saudi — it makes you tired and it makes you boring,” she said, sighing.
Like many Saudi women, Nayla struggles with obesity, a major issue in the kingdom because many women are largely confined to their homes and local custom often prevents them from participating in sports or even walking around their neighborhoods. "

This is a direct quote from today's article in the New York Times. It's talking about how Saudi women are now huge admirers of Oprah after her show began broadcasting over there a few years ago. I couldn't agree with this quote more. I saw it firsthand!

I came across an Oprah episode on the television on my third day in Saudi. Jeff had gone to the airport, so I had to stay in the hotel room by myself. I couldn't believe my luck when I saw Oprah's face on the screen. Like Nayla, I found an oasis in the desert!

Some comments Elena has received in the past week...

"I really like her hair! It's wild and all over the place."

"What a handsome boy!"

"Good boy!"

"He's so cute!"


Umm, yes, so Elena wakes with wild hair which I hardly ever bother to fix. She's not going on any job interviews, so does she really need to brush her hair? Her mother hasn't used a hairbrush in years.

And the people making the other comments, they have no idea they aren't exactly compliments to us!

Didja really wash yer hands, didja really?

A big shock to me upon arriving here was finding out that toilet paper is of such little importance.

Waiting in line to use a public stall, hearing a flush, seeing an abaya lady exit, entering the stall after her, unzipping pants only to zip them back up after seeing there's no TP, looking at the shelf behind me to see if there's a roll, noticing that there is not even a lonely cardboard cylinder spinning aimlessly on the holder, freaking out upon realizing the lady before me didn't use any toilet paper! Seriously skeeved, using my sleeve to open the stall door making mental note not to touch this sleeve again until I can take it off at home, I leave the bathroom.

OK, so this doesn't happen all the time, but it has happened. More than once.

Like I've said in a previous post, there are little hoses in every stall and I'm sure that's what the abaya lady used.

Over the past year, I've learned many things about toilet etiquette. Old school uses the left hand. In Arab culture it is very rude to extend your left hand for anything; this is why. New school uses toilet paper, but deposits used toilet paper into a small rubbish bin next to the toilet. Is this really any more sanitary? Personally, I enjoy using and releasing and flushing and never seeing it again.

My neighbor who practices TMI, has told me numerous times that her toilet gets clogged very easily. Um, thanks. She always had to call the maintenance man to plunge her toilet. She was getting very frustrated (understandable, but what is not understandable is why she didn't just buy her own plunger). On his 3rd visit, she really lost her temper and told the maintenance man that there was just something wrong with the plumbing. He told her it wasn't the plumbing, it was because she was using toilet paper!

And that brings us to the subject of Bahrain plumbing. I can't really give my neighbor a hard time because actually, everyone's plumbing gets clogged. They use pipes that are one size too small and it's not actually a plumber doing the plumbing, it's a poor guy from India with no experience with indoor plumbing, told to plumb these bathrooms, with this given set of materials. I'm not being harsh. At certain times of day, you can smell the sewage out of the bathroom floor. In every compound. I've been in way nicer compounds than my own, and still smelled the same smell.

So all this comes back to what I have learned this past year: Stomach viruses spread around here like nobody's business. At any given point in time, I can name at least one person with a stomach virus. Like Elena, for example. Like me, who got it from Elena. I have never, ever, been so sick in my previous decades in the US, as I have been in the past year in Bahrain. The Big D sick. Is it no wonder I didn't actually get these sicknesses until after Elena was 6 months old? Me, I can control what I touch and how often I wash my hands. Elena after 6 months, not so much. Strangers all day long are kissing and hugging Elena and holding her hands. (Arabs are very touchy feely people!) They take her from my arms and whisk her around, nuzzling their faces into various parts of her body. They hand her back to me... and disease continues to spread...

Reflections on the past year

I just passed my one-year mark of living in Bahrain (April 14). I have more than passed my one-year mark of being in the Middle East (Feb 14). As they say, you can do anything for one year. I find that to be remarkably true.

Part of what has made this year fly by so quickly is the birth of Elena. I think a baby somehow warps time and can make the days simultaneously glacially slow (during those middle-of-the-night feedings in the beginning) and grand prix speedy (the sleep time in between those middle-of-the-night feedings).

Very cliche, but true-- I have learned a lot this past year. I have learned about geography, culture, religion, human behavior, about my husband, my daughter, and myself.

I think I'll write a few posts about my howdy, saudi year and how I feel about it.

Our trip to Dubai

The NYT has their travel column, "36 hours in...," this time about Dubai, and it reminded me of the trip we took in December. It was our first time in Dubai, and the first thing anyone would notice is the sheer amount of construction. Crazy construction. Even though Bahrain has more construction than I've ever seen, Dubai by far tops it because it is bigger and denser. Everything about Dubai is about being big and tall. Nothing is "old," everything is shiny and new.

It was very exciting to explore Dubai- the streets are extremely clean, the malls are huge and pristine, the restaurants are trendy and stylish- but at the conclusion of our 6 days there, I realized I couldn't really recommend Dubai was a destination to anybody. Having lived in the Middle East (what I really mean is being deprived in the Middle East), Dubai is a spectacular break from the drab, brown and tan environment I'm usually surrounded by. It's sleek, modern, colorful...but not much else.

Dubai almost makes you forget you are in Muslim country, but then you see the sign posted at the entrance of the Mall of the Emirates stating "ladies no bare arms, appropriate dress required" and it brings you all back to the oppressing culture and norms of the religion. Not that anybody really adheres to the rules, I'm pretty sure I saw cleavage and skin while there, but you won't find any Vegas cocktail waitress/swimsuit silhouette type outfits in Dubai.

People call Dubai, Vegas of the Middle East (Vegas without the gambling). In a way, the spectacle aspect is there, but it's not nearly as fun or exciting. Dubai shopping is not any better than Vegas or New York. Dubai food is severely lacking. Dubai has not yet attracted those celebrity chefs that have made Vegas one of the best places for eating. Dubai restaurants use the same old peasant workers in the kitchens of their finest restaurants, just like Bahrain and Saudi- people from other 3rd world countries who work cheap and don't ask questions.

We stayed in a hotel condo on the beach, and in December it was still warm enough to spend the day on the beach. The water was cold, but I saw other people swimming. We booked a one-room condo, but were upgraded to a two-room, and I found out that most people visiting Dubai get the free upgrade. Our condo really had three rooms, as these places all have an extra room and bathroom built-in for the maid. Please.

I think Dubai is just beginning and I'd like to visit again in 10 years to see how much it's progressed. The thing about Dubai is that they are not averse to bringing in outsiders, ie Europeans, to design and build their city. When Dubai is determined to push to #1, it has the money to make it happen (see Emirates Airlines).

Overall, as an American I would never, ever spend all the time and money to vacation in Dubai. I would stop in Dubai for a couple of days on my way to somewhere else, but never make Dubai my final destination. But as an American living in the Middle East, I would definitely visit Dubai again for its huge water park, waterfront strolls, and escape from the litter and general dirtiness of Bahrain.

Reading over what I wrote, it sounds like a negative review of Dubai, but we had a great time in there (not counting having the flu while we were there), since it really is about the company you keep and I happen to really like my family! We would definitely visit again but only while we're over in this part of the world. For a true shopping experience, or dining experience, or theme park experience, there are many other superior choices a lot closer in proximity to the United States.

Maybe it's just easier to govern racist-ly...

I had read somewhere, although I couldn't remember where, that here in Bahrain if you are in a traffic accident, guilt is automatically decided by the police once they arrive at the scene. If you are Arab (Bahraini), you are automatically innocent. If you are Indian, you are automatically guilty. An ex-pat in an accident with a Bahraini, the ex-pat is guilty. An ex-pat in an accident with an Indian, the Indian is guilty.

I thought this was absurd and wasn't sure of its validity, but my friend, an ex-pat from South Africa, was at a red light when she was rear-ended by a Bahraini. When the police arrived, sure enough, she was declared guilty and given a ticket for 18BD ($48). Even though she was the one that got hit. She said there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. No explaining, much less protesting, was allowed.

Gee, that certainly does simplify the workload.

Can you imagine if this was implemented in the United States? Who would be automatically guilty? Obviously Asians. (We don't get any respect anywhere we are in the world.) We'd have to tier them-- like is Vietnamese higher or lower than Laotian? Black people. Mexicans. There'd be some mad tier-ing going on. Sadly, Indians would still be in the automatically guilty group. It would be one complicated process. Sure glad the American police don't make assumptions based on race.

Food on Feet

Elena's been displaying some pretty un-ladylike behavior lately. Her new thing is that she likes to put her foot up on the high chair tray during meals. Sometimes she also scrunches down her body so that her foot ends up by her ear and she gets stuck. Most days she ends up with food between her toes. An authentic toe-jam. You will recognize those stricken with Food-on-Foot syndrome by the nibbling of toes once the meal is done. A kind of saving-this-for-later mentality, if you will.